December 2, 2010

We were kind of busy tonight, and who do I get at one of my tables? The couple who have a laptop and are working on something when I get to the table. They order drinks and continue to use this laptop. They tell me to come back in 15 min.! Really? So when I go back in 15 min., they order another drink and continue to look at the laptop. Finally after another 15 min. they put the laptop away and order an appetizer. Still not ready to order dinner. After they eat the appetizer 30 min. later, I finally am able to get a dinner order. After dinner, I clear the table. They don't want anything else, but guess what? They pull out the laptop again and are both sitting on the same side of the booth. How cozy. Really? Sit and take up my booth to look at your laptop. So after two hours, they finally left. Good riddance. Their tip should have reflected all the time they sat there, but unfortunately it didn't.

Then there are the people that eat out, and no matter what their bill is, they leave $5. It could be $25, it could be $70? Who made up that amount? I mean, seriously, if you can't afford a tip then you shouldn't eat out. Or, if you can't do mental math, use your cell phone calculator to figure it out!

December 1, 2010

Alright, so three ladies come to the restaurant, and unbenownst to me most servers know these woman and are so happy they aren't at their table!!!! Kiss of death. So they start off with a round of drinks for happy hour and tell me that they are going to drink for a while. Second round of drinks, third round of drinks. Happy hour is now over, even though it has been and hour and a half. Every time I go over to get a food order, they tell me they haven't looked at the menu. Finally they are ready to order. They order one salad and one pizza, and more drinks. They finally paid their bill after three and a half hours at the table. I mean, really? A whole $10 I made for three and a half hours? Get real. If you are going to sit through prime dinner hours, a least leave a decent tip. It is pretty bad when you come to a restaurant and all of the servers know you and avoid you like the plague!

On another note, I had a couple that sat at my table tonight and had a sample of some wine they were interested in. After that, they totally decide to order beer (cheaper than wine). Then they proceed to order an appetizer that is usually a combination of calamari, cheese sticks and bruschetta. They told me they would rather have fried zucchini and pumpkin ravioli instead of the other three things. They did this so they wouldn't have to order two appetizers. They had a coupon for a free appetizer. God forbid they might have to pay for one. Anyway, I brought them the appetizer and they weren't ready to order their entrees. After about 45 min. they decide to order. One small side salad. Really?? But wanted more "free" bread. After they ate their salad, they did finally order dessert. I went to take the bread off the table before dessert was served, but I guess they didn't order enough food for dinner, they wanted to keep the bread to eat with dessert. So tacky! If you would just order enough food for dinner, you wouldn't have to keep eating the "free" bread. So once the check was dropped, do you think they tipped on the free appetizer that came off the bill? Of course not! And needless to say, they overstayed their welcome at my table.

November 6, 2010

I would like to know what people are thinking when they eat out. I mean, I know you should be able to have a relaxing dinner with drinks and dessert, but how long do people think they can sit at a table after they are finished eating and have already paid their check? When you come in at 5:30 and are still at the table until 7:45, this is an issue. If you want to continue to sit and order nothing, go sit at the bar and have a glass of water. Why take up the table all night so the server doesn't make any money? We only make $2.13 and hour and really depend on tips. If you have a three table section and people are "camping" at one of them, you are only working with two tables in a limited amount of time. Please be considerate of the server when you eat out!!!!! Also, once you have paid your bill and continue to sit there for an extra hour, please don't order a cup of coffee just to act like you are ordering something.

October 20, 2010

Sometimes it is such a pleasure to wait on small children. I had the cutest little guy at one of my tables last night. He couldn't have been more than three or four years old. He looked up at me with the biggest blue eyes and blond hair and said "I can speak Spanish"! I said really? What can you say? He said B I N GO and Bingo was his namO! I couldn't stop laughing! I told him that if you put a vowel on the end of every word, I guess you can be bilingual. He made my night.

October 12, 2010

Five Things that Tick Off Servers:

1. “Do you like it when people come over to your house and move your furniture around? Yeah, neither do we. We especially don’t like it when you decide to put chairs where we normally have people (i.e. our staff) walking.

I’m sorry, but we haven’t been waiting around all day for you and your ten friends to pop in - moreover, there was actually some logic and planning that went into putting the tables and chairs where we have them, so leave them the f#@$ alone!”

2. “I love how a restaurant is expected to acknowledge your birthday like it’s a national holiday or something. Who invented the rule that you get a free dessert on your birthday in a restaurant? I guess we have T.G.I.Friday’s and Bennigan’s to thank for exploiting servers as they, the servers, clap their hands and chant a birthday cheer.

You don’t get a free pair of gloves or socks from Old Navy when you buy an outfit on your birthday.

3. “One of my all time favorites: People’s utter disregard for hours of operation. ‘Oh, you all are closed? OK, well, I just get some food to go.’ No, I don’t think you get it - we’re closed. Not only can you not cash a check at the bank 30 seconds after they close - the old man locking the door actually takes pleasure in locking the door on you. In some banks, the tellers even have a nice panoramic window to gaze out of and laugh at all the folks who didn’t make it in on time.

4. “You know what happens when you’re late for a flight? You miss it! You know what happens when you’re late to the movies? It starts despite the fact that you’re not there. Why are we obligated to hold your table when you’re late? Oh, you hit traffic. What’s that? - I’ve never heard of traffic. And what's worse, you get to your table of ten when only two of you are on time and sit and wait and wait and wait until the rest of your party shows up asking for bread, bread, and could we have some more bread? We are starving!!!

5. “Why do people always seem to call the restaurant at the absolute worst time (i.e. between 12:45 and 1:30 p.m. and 7 and 9 p.m.) to inquire about our menu or make a reservation?

‘Yes, please tell me about your food’ Really? Do you not have access to the World Wide Web? It’s great when they request a verbal tour of the menu. And, why is it that all these people share an uncanny, common denominator - they all talk so slow!

Or - how about when people call to make a reservation and the conversation actually turns into a conference call? This is especially entertaining when the person is in a car with a multiple talkative passengers, or the other people in the conversation are in another room of the house probably watching college football.

The person you are on the other end of the phone with is still conferring with the others: ‘What time do you want to eat? I don’t know. Is eight too late? How hungry are you? Do you think you’ll be busy at 7:30? They don’t have anything until 8:15.’”

September 29, 2010

So, how about this.... A couple comes into the restaurant and orders a nice meal. They have a free food certificate valued at $45. Their bill comes to $58.67. They put $13 in the book and tell me that the service was excellent and that they will ask for me again!!!! Don't do me any favors! I mean, do they not realize that you tip on the entire bill and not just the balance that is due!!!! They should not even eat out!!!! Cheapskates!!!!

Also, another thing that I keep mentioning is.....DO NOT CAMP AT A SERVER'S TABLE!!!! If you are finished eating, and not going to order anything else, do not sit there for three hours "catching up" with each other! Take it to the bar! Not only is it inconsiderate, it is just rude.

September 8, 2010

I have to post this even though it wasn't my table. Another server had a table with two women who sat down at 6:00 or so. It was during happy hour, and they both ordered a drink ($3). They mentioned that they hadn't seen each other in twenty years. After the first drink, they ordered another before happy hour ended at seven. They were still there at 9:30 when I left! Can you believe they only ordered four drinks, no food, and sat there all night taking up this table? Why in the world would they not sit at the bar? You cannot go out and sit at a table all night without ordering anything! The server never got to turn that table and have it get sat again. I wonder if they stayed until we closed? They didn't even pay their bill right away. They left it sitting there even though they didn't want to order anything else. At least pay the bill so the server can leave for the night!!

August 25, 2010

This takes the cake! Party of five come in and have a nice dinner. Afterwards, they tell me they have a birthday cake in the back for one of them. I go back to get the cake, open the box, and see an 8 inch cake in there with at least fifty candles on it! The entire top had candles on it. Now, I guess in their minds, I was supposed to light all of these candles. The cake would have caught on fire as well as my hand! So I decided to light one candle in the middle and take the cake to him. People, come on! Busy restaurant, busy server. We don't have time to light fifty candles! They then decided to try and light them. Didn't get too far. They did, however, offer me a piece of cake.

August 19, 2010

So, it's your birthday or someone in your party's birthday. You bring your own cake and have the server keep it "in the back" for you until you are ready for it. That's fine. When all of your dishes are cleared and everyone is ready for dessert, you ask for your cake to be brought out. Just keep in mind that your server is also waiting on other tables, and not just yours. They now have to go back, put candles on the cake, get plates, forks and a knife, and get the cake to your table without the candles going out. That's fine. After "Happy Birthday" is or isn't sung at the table, the cake now needs to be cut and served. Sometimes the birthday person does this, and sometimes it is the server. Once the cake has been cut, and the leftover cake needs to be boxed back up, the server must take it "in the back" and box it. Now, you would think with all that extra work and time spent at your table away from the server's other tables, that you would tip more than the usual amount you normally tip your server? You would think, but "no". Most people don't! It is an extra service you are being provided with. Please tip your server extra and it would be nice to offer them a piece of cake!!!

Another thing, when you redeem a coupon at a restaurant for a free appetizer, dessert, or whatever, the correct thing to do is tip on what the bill would have been before the aforesaid item is deducted from your bill. Most servers have to tip out for bussers, bartenders, hostesses, etc. a percentage of their sales. That item of food that I mentioned earlier is not deducted from the server's total sales. They are included in the gross amount of sales they have for the night. Sometime a server loses money on a table! Hard to believe, but it happens!

So the reason for bringing up tipping, is if you want to eat out but can't afford a proper tip, go to a place like McDonalds or stay home and cook!

August 18, 2010

It never ceases to amaze me what people do at restaurants. Tonight, a table brought in their own dessert! Now mind you, this wasn't a birthday cake, which is o.k. to do since the restaurant doesn't sell birthday cakes. This was a store bought package of pecan tarts! Just when you think you have seen everything!!! How do people have the nerve? That is so tacky! Why not just go home and eat your dessert if you are not buying it at the restaurant? And then to ask for plates and forks! Hello!!!!

Also, when you have a coupon for a free appetizer or dessert, you should still tip the server on it even though it was taken off your bill. We still have to tip out on the total amount of our sales even though there was a coupon.

My last table of the evening sat long after they paid their bill. Really? We close at 10:30 and you are still sitting there? Go home!!!! You are not eating, drinking, or doing anything else. Go to the bar and sit. That's why they have stools there. Or are they afraid they might have to order a drink?

Just another night at the restaurant!

August 17, 2010

I have been on vacation for two weeks, so I haven't been posting. Tonight was my first night back. Not much went on this evening except for a table asking for "a couple loaves of bread to go"! It never ceases to amaze me. I just charge them for it now!

One last thing, when you order salmon, please pronounce it correctly. The "l" is silent!

August 3, 2010

Back to work tonight after having a few nights off. I can honestly say nothing eventful happened tonight. It was so slow. It was not worth ironing my apron to go in. Such a waste of precious time!

Why is it when someone has a birthday at your table, somebody makes a point to let you know it? What do they think you will do? Give them all free meals? Come out and do a dog and pony show? Why does the server care if it's your birthday? I guess maybe it's so they are sure to get a free sundae with a candle in it. That's all I can figure.

July 29, 2010

Well, tonight was a busy night at the restaurant. My first table were three woman. They decided to have drinks since it was happy hour and the drinks were half off. Well after two rounds of drinks, they finally ordered appetizers. Another round of drinks to follow. When I tried to take their order, they weren't ready. So, after numerous attempts to get them to order, they finally did. After and hour and a half. Once their food got there, they ate and had to have most of it boxed up. They sat at my table for over two and a half hours before they finally left! We were in the middle of a dinner rush with customers waiting to be seated. Why am I disgusted with these women? Because!!! I missed the dinner rush and lost money on that table! That table could have gotten sat at least two more times in the amount of time they sat there!!! My next table did the same thing. There were three people. One ordered an entree, one woman said she was just there to drink, and she didn't allow her boyfriend to order anything over $20! For real? She let him get a $10 salad. They also decided to sit for 2 1/2 hours. After they paid and still continued to sit, I went over and said, "since you have been sitting here for so long, are you ready for dessert now? They said no, but asked if we were still in "happy hour". I said no, but we do have a bar and they can feel free to order anyway! Do you think they did? NO!!! They still continued to just sit there. My booths are valuable real estate in a restaurant. If you are not ordering, don't sit there. Go sit at the bar or go to McDonalds and sit!

Also, gentlemen, if you go to a restaurant that uses linens as napkins, don't wear baseball hats especially turned around backwards!!! Again, if you want to wear t-shirts and baseball hats, and not take the hat off, go eat at a fast food restaurant!

Here is another good one. A party of twenty people come into the restaurant. They all order gluten free meals. Now, gluten free menu items have to be made from scratch because we don't get a lot of orders for them. The pasta takes twenty minutes to make for just one order. So it took quite a while for the pasta to cook for twenty orders. Once the food was delivered and the guests ate their meals, it came time to pay. The total bill was over $400. There is an automatic 18% gratuity for parties of 8 or more. They refused to pay the gratuity because the food took so long to arrive at the table. Is that the servers' fault? NO! So they left $15 for two servers to split. Why would you not tip the server the 18% in this case? They do not cook the food. They take your order and serve you your food.

Well, just another fun night working in the restaurant. When I do have a great customer come in I will write about them to let you know. Until then, I'll just keep on letting you know what people do when they eat out.

July 28, 2010

Well these patrons are at it again!!! Just when I thought my night was going to be uneventful, and almost a good night as far as waiting tables goes, I get a table of seven. They were a mixed bag of people. Young, old, black and white. They seemed to be just fine until I went to take their order. Now mind you, I serve in an Italian restaurant. We get a lot of requests to change menu items or modify things, and it really isn't any problem to do. What we don't do is make things that aren't anything close to Italian food. For example, I was asked if we had deep friend shrimp! So sorry, all we do is scampi! Well, what is that they ask? After explaining, they order it. I guess they liked it because they didn't complain. The meal went smoothly enough even though one patron ordered a cup of plain hot water, and then complained that there was a blond hair in it. I assured her it wasn't mine especially since I'm brunette! At the end of the meal, I boxed up all the leftover food for them. I separated the check and gave the three couples their bills. One of the woman asked if I could just wrap her up some bread, herbs and olive oil to go. I told her I would but did she realize there was a charge for these items? She said, "really?" Well how about the bread on our table? I told her I would be happy to wrap up the leftover bread. She didn't want that, because it would be cold. She also didn't want to pay for more bread. So after they paid and I gave them back their credit cards, they sat for about 15 minutes longer and then called me back to the table and she asked for some bread, herbs and oil to go. I gave them to her and told her the next time she would be charged for them. She said she thought it was a courtesy that we did at the restaurant. I told her that it costs us money to give those items away. If she ordered food to go, we certainly would give her bread. They ate at least two full loaves during their meal. I mean, come on, do you think a restaurant is the same thing as the Red Cross? That we are in the business to give away food? Do you go to bars and expect free refills on beer? No! Why not take the salt and pepper grinders home with you too! Hey, they were on your table when you got there!

Then there are the people that come in and say, "we're really not hungry" so we are going to share a meal. But, you are going to bring that bread and herbs, right? Yes, it will be right out. In the meantime, they eat that loaf of bread, ask for more during the split salad they are sharing, and then ask for another loaf during the split meal they are sharing. Yeah, they weren't hungry. They just come out to fill up on all the free bread they can! Who would be hungry??

So just remember, it's o.k. to share a meal once in a while, just don't make pigs of yourselves on all the free bread!

July 27, 2010

O.K., so I'm new at this. I have decided to blog about the proper etiquette when eating at a restaurant. I have been a server for at least ten years. It never ceases to amaze me the way people act when they eat out. I always said that I should write a book, instead I decided to blog about it. It is a way for me to vent, as well as enlighten others to what not to do when dining out.

For example, tonight I served a party of six. An older woman was at the table and told me that she was waiting for the rest of her family to get there. She said it was a special occasion in that her mother who is in her late seventies had back surgery six months ago, and this was the first night she was eating out. After the others arrived, we proceeded with the meal. The service was great. When it came time for dessert, they ordered several. I thought it would be a nice gesture to give the guest of honor a complementary dessert to celebrate her feeling better. The total bill was $146.90. Now anyone with any common sense would leave at least 15-20% gratuity, right? Well they thanked me over and over for the great service and the special treatment I gave to their mother. What do you think they left as the tip? Seventeen dollars ($17)!!! Hard to believe.

Another thing I want to mention is this. When you are regulars to a restaurant--at least once or twice a month---and you are cheating on your spouse, don't choose the restaurant that you and your significant other go to. All of the servers know you, you slime ball!

Another table I had tonight was two woman that did nothing but demand things of me. Since when is it right or polite to just order the server around? We are not there to just wait on you. We have other tables and guests we are waiting on beside you. The woman ordered a bowl of pasta with marinara sauce. After eating half, she decided to have it boxed up. But before I boxed it, she asked if I could put more sauce on it! Really?? It's going to be leftovers for heaven's sake!

That's all I will talk about for tonight, but you can be sure there will be more to come.....