December 2, 2010

We were kind of busy tonight, and who do I get at one of my tables? The couple who have a laptop and are working on something when I get to the table. They order drinks and continue to use this laptop. They tell me to come back in 15 min.! Really? So when I go back in 15 min., they order another drink and continue to look at the laptop. Finally after another 15 min. they put the laptop away and order an appetizer. Still not ready to order dinner. After they eat the appetizer 30 min. later, I finally am able to get a dinner order. After dinner, I clear the table. They don't want anything else, but guess what? They pull out the laptop again and are both sitting on the same side of the booth. How cozy. Really? Sit and take up my booth to look at your laptop. So after two hours, they finally left. Good riddance. Their tip should have reflected all the time they sat there, but unfortunately it didn't.

Then there are the people that eat out, and no matter what their bill is, they leave $5. It could be $25, it could be $70? Who made up that amount? I mean, seriously, if you can't afford a tip then you shouldn't eat out. Or, if you can't do mental math, use your cell phone calculator to figure it out!

December 1, 2010

Alright, so three ladies come to the restaurant, and unbenownst to me most servers know these woman and are so happy they aren't at their table!!!! Kiss of death. So they start off with a round of drinks for happy hour and tell me that they are going to drink for a while. Second round of drinks, third round of drinks. Happy hour is now over, even though it has been and hour and a half. Every time I go over to get a food order, they tell me they haven't looked at the menu. Finally they are ready to order. They order one salad and one pizza, and more drinks. They finally paid their bill after three and a half hours at the table. I mean, really? A whole $10 I made for three and a half hours? Get real. If you are going to sit through prime dinner hours, a least leave a decent tip. It is pretty bad when you come to a restaurant and all of the servers know you and avoid you like the plague!

On another note, I had a couple that sat at my table tonight and had a sample of some wine they were interested in. After that, they totally decide to order beer (cheaper than wine). Then they proceed to order an appetizer that is usually a combination of calamari, cheese sticks and bruschetta. They told me they would rather have fried zucchini and pumpkin ravioli instead of the other three things. They did this so they wouldn't have to order two appetizers. They had a coupon for a free appetizer. God forbid they might have to pay for one. Anyway, I brought them the appetizer and they weren't ready to order their entrees. After about 45 min. they decide to order. One small side salad. Really?? But wanted more "free" bread. After they ate their salad, they did finally order dessert. I went to take the bread off the table before dessert was served, but I guess they didn't order enough food for dinner, they wanted to keep the bread to eat with dessert. So tacky! If you would just order enough food for dinner, you wouldn't have to keep eating the "free" bread. So once the check was dropped, do you think they tipped on the free appetizer that came off the bill? Of course not! And needless to say, they overstayed their welcome at my table.

November 6, 2010

I would like to know what people are thinking when they eat out. I mean, I know you should be able to have a relaxing dinner with drinks and dessert, but how long do people think they can sit at a table after they are finished eating and have already paid their check? When you come in at 5:30 and are still at the table until 7:45, this is an issue. If you want to continue to sit and order nothing, go sit at the bar and have a glass of water. Why take up the table all night so the server doesn't make any money? We only make $2.13 and hour and really depend on tips. If you have a three table section and people are "camping" at one of them, you are only working with two tables in a limited amount of time. Please be considerate of the server when you eat out!!!!! Also, once you have paid your bill and continue to sit there for an extra hour, please don't order a cup of coffee just to act like you are ordering something.

October 20, 2010

Sometimes it is such a pleasure to wait on small children. I had the cutest little guy at one of my tables last night. He couldn't have been more than three or four years old. He looked up at me with the biggest blue eyes and blond hair and said "I can speak Spanish"! I said really? What can you say? He said B I N GO and Bingo was his namO! I couldn't stop laughing! I told him that if you put a vowel on the end of every word, I guess you can be bilingual. He made my night.

October 12, 2010

Five Things that Tick Off Servers:

1. “Do you like it when people come over to your house and move your furniture around? Yeah, neither do we. We especially don’t like it when you decide to put chairs where we normally have people (i.e. our staff) walking.

I’m sorry, but we haven’t been waiting around all day for you and your ten friends to pop in - moreover, there was actually some logic and planning that went into putting the tables and chairs where we have them, so leave them the f#@$ alone!”

2. “I love how a restaurant is expected to acknowledge your birthday like it’s a national holiday or something. Who invented the rule that you get a free dessert on your birthday in a restaurant? I guess we have T.G.I.Friday’s and Bennigan’s to thank for exploiting servers as they, the servers, clap their hands and chant a birthday cheer.

You don’t get a free pair of gloves or socks from Old Navy when you buy an outfit on your birthday.

3. “One of my all time favorites: People’s utter disregard for hours of operation. ‘Oh, you all are closed? OK, well, I just get some food to go.’ No, I don’t think you get it - we’re closed. Not only can you not cash a check at the bank 30 seconds after they close - the old man locking the door actually takes pleasure in locking the door on you. In some banks, the tellers even have a nice panoramic window to gaze out of and laugh at all the folks who didn’t make it in on time.

4. “You know what happens when you’re late for a flight? You miss it! You know what happens when you’re late to the movies? It starts despite the fact that you’re not there. Why are we obligated to hold your table when you’re late? Oh, you hit traffic. What’s that? - I’ve never heard of traffic. And what's worse, you get to your table of ten when only two of you are on time and sit and wait and wait and wait until the rest of your party shows up asking for bread, bread, and could we have some more bread? We are starving!!!

5. “Why do people always seem to call the restaurant at the absolute worst time (i.e. between 12:45 and 1:30 p.m. and 7 and 9 p.m.) to inquire about our menu or make a reservation?

‘Yes, please tell me about your food’ Really? Do you not have access to the World Wide Web? It’s great when they request a verbal tour of the menu. And, why is it that all these people share an uncanny, common denominator - they all talk so slow!

Or - how about when people call to make a reservation and the conversation actually turns into a conference call? This is especially entertaining when the person is in a car with a multiple talkative passengers, or the other people in the conversation are in another room of the house probably watching college football.

The person you are on the other end of the phone with is still conferring with the others: ‘What time do you want to eat? I don’t know. Is eight too late? How hungry are you? Do you think you’ll be busy at 7:30? They don’t have anything until 8:15.’”

September 29, 2010

So, how about this.... A couple comes into the restaurant and orders a nice meal. They have a free food certificate valued at $45. Their bill comes to $58.67. They put $13 in the book and tell me that the service was excellent and that they will ask for me again!!!! Don't do me any favors! I mean, do they not realize that you tip on the entire bill and not just the balance that is due!!!! They should not even eat out!!!! Cheapskates!!!!

Also, another thing that I keep mentioning is.....DO NOT CAMP AT A SERVER'S TABLE!!!! If you are finished eating, and not going to order anything else, do not sit there for three hours "catching up" with each other! Take it to the bar! Not only is it inconsiderate, it is just rude.

September 8, 2010

I have to post this even though it wasn't my table. Another server had a table with two women who sat down at 6:00 or so. It was during happy hour, and they both ordered a drink ($3). They mentioned that they hadn't seen each other in twenty years. After the first drink, they ordered another before happy hour ended at seven. They were still there at 9:30 when I left! Can you believe they only ordered four drinks, no food, and sat there all night taking up this table? Why in the world would they not sit at the bar? You cannot go out and sit at a table all night without ordering anything! The server never got to turn that table and have it get sat again. I wonder if they stayed until we closed? They didn't even pay their bill right away. They left it sitting there even though they didn't want to order anything else. At least pay the bill so the server can leave for the night!!